it's been a while since i've done a personality test

it's been a couple years since i've done a personality test, i couldn't remember what i was a while back. i saw eddie's post and it got me to try it out again:

Introverted (I) 22% - preferred to Extroversion: INFJs tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations (whereas extroverts gain energy.)

Intuitive (N) 38% - preferred to Sensing: INFJs tend to be more abstract than concrete. They focus their attention on the big picture rather than the details, and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.

Feeling (F) 38% - preferred to Thinking: INFJs tend to rely on a personal, internal sense of right and wrong rather than external, objective criteria. When making decisions, they often give more weight to feelings and social considerations than to logic.

Judging (J) 56% - preferred to Perception: INFJs tend to plan their activities and make decisions early. They derive a sense of control through predictability, which to perceptive types may seem limiting.

so here's what i do know.

• i know that i get very exhausted in big social groups. i hardly ever go to parties, and i love my group of friends.
• i know that my criteria of right and wrong are poorly defined and i usually go with my feelings. that's not to say that i don't throw away reason, but i do go for a gut feeling (which i think "feeling" is).
  
• i know when i do stuff on the fly, things fall apart. (i.e. when i try to improvise a presentation, it never works out...)

there are some things about the INFJ descriptions that i like. i think it's cool to be a poet (though i highly disagree with it). i enjoy poetry very much, and to write it. but there's nothing creative about it, it's simply just playing around on words without structure nor intention.

i don't know what really to think of it besides "cool."

it's been an interesting few days...

friday to sunday i've been stuck at a lifeguarding instructor's course -- learning how to teach people to be lifeguards. it was virtually an all-weekend deal, and was fairly intense. going into it, i was fairly sure that i wasn't going to pass and they wouldn't give me an instructor's license, partly from what they said, and partly from my lack of confidence in skill. i guess at times i do feel like i know everything, and other times, i don't. i can't understand how people can be so confident with what they do. me, i choke a lot of the time. i may know things when i'm not under pressure, and then once i'm put in the spotlight, i end up really just crumbling. i need to work on that. this needs to stop.

i also don't understand how people can be so confident about passing through that course. i think i have the fear of failure, and others don't think about that until it hits them. at some point i think that's how i used to process. nowadays... it feels like i can't afford to do that...

it was great to be around people with so much energy. i did walk out of that class with some more confidence, especially in terms of performing rescues and cpr. it's kind of funny to find myself where i am right now, considering when i first started off, my cpr skills weren't top standard. go figure. but you can count on me now to save you if you go into a heart attack. really :)

once sunday ended, with instructor license in hand, it was time for me to study for inorganic and systems physiology, which really kicked my butt.

so far:

systems physiology:
test 1 - 70% (average 60)
test 2 - 85.5% (average 70)
test 3 - pwnd (average ??)
test 4 -
test 5 -
final -

inorganic:
test 1 - 70% (average 69)
test 2 - meh (average ??)
test 3 -
test 4 -
final -

so glad that i've got drop tests in both those classes.

is it bad that i'm already looking forward to the weekend? i feel like i haven't really had a breather...

watched city of angels yesterday... not a bad movie... i want to watch michael (with john travolta) in it at some point. i want to start watching "new" movies ...

...so many things i need to do. want to do. so many goals...

a little bit of love goes a long way

much love.

edit: as i look back, as a kid i've always wanted to do this. i guess my kid dreams were to always interact with animals. i loved big cats. i love dogs. i also loved watching free willy and have dreamed of swimming with orca. ironically, now i am called shamu (thanks eddie). so while i think about wanting to work at a small animal clinic, i would LOVE to work at a zoo or something. or if i landed a job at seaworld. instead though, i'd probably pee my pants in fright everyday for the rest of my life out of fright, and sheer joy. when i see movies now, i still love those flicks with animal interaction. like free willy. 50 first dates. ace ventura. turner and hooch.

note:

gift presentation is just as important as the gift itself.