we're going to have to say this soon, and it makes me sad.
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Elphaba):
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
"for good," wicked
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
my part of the story
so... i've been looking at physiology and i have no idea how to study for this test.
good thing i still have 24 hours to try and figure that one out. and then go on to do inorganic and stat. which i have a little better idea on a strategy.
this week, at its halfway point has been interesting. and it's not because of exams.
monday, i was working at the pool, and a group of guys came in to use the diving boards while atlanta diving was practice. this was ok, since rec swim and atlanta diving coincided, and it's how they (atl diving) gets a cheaper rent pay. but the guys that came in were being jerks, and were clearly aggravating the dive team by messing around, not being very safe, and not really being considerate of the other people using it. after the dive team was done using the 3m boards (and moved on to the 1-meter), when they had the boards to themselves, these fellas decide that they'd follow the dive team to the one meter too, and mess around then. so i asked them if they could wait until the dive team was done using the boards, since practice was almost done. diving had been pretty patient about it. one of the guys got all in my face about it, and told me he didnt' deserve this treatment, and was being pretty rude. how it was his right as a paying customer to be doing what he was doing and so on and so forth. after a few exchanges, he asked if i could let them dive for a couple minutes after we were supposed to close down the dive well, and i said sure.
i felt like i was pretty calm during the whole thing. the dive coach talked to me afterward, and while the divers appreceiated it, the dive coach explained that rec swimmers were allowed to use the dive boards at the same time as atlanta divers. i think though, that recreational swimmers didn't have to be douches.
the next day, the guy sends out an e-mail to my boss.
I was at the diving Well earlier today and was yelled at by one of the head life guards at the pool. I feel that this was in error, since the lifegaurd claimed that I was being disruptive to the diving practice going on at the 1 meter boards.
and closes off with
the lifegaurd was rude and stubborn about us using the lower boards. I am not sure what can be done about this, but I love coming to the pool and plan to do so all throughout the Summer.
i had another shift that day (yesterday). the lifeguards were in a fit. the gang of jerks returned, and started canonballing right in front of the coaches. now, really? is that necessary? i felt like this is the kind of thing they were doing yesterday, and i'd already gotten crap for it. so, while i hated to watch this, kept my mouth shut. they then later went to the leisure pool and caused havoc there. no one was pleased.
so, i'm glad i'm done working for this week. now off i go for frisbee.
good thing i still have 24 hours to try and figure that one out. and then go on to do inorganic and stat. which i have a little better idea on a strategy.
this week, at its halfway point has been interesting. and it's not because of exams.
monday, i was working at the pool, and a group of guys came in to use the diving boards while atlanta diving was practice. this was ok, since rec swim and atlanta diving coincided, and it's how they (atl diving) gets a cheaper rent pay. but the guys that came in were being jerks, and were clearly aggravating the dive team by messing around, not being very safe, and not really being considerate of the other people using it. after the dive team was done using the 3m boards (and moved on to the 1-meter), when they had the boards to themselves, these fellas decide that they'd follow the dive team to the one meter too, and mess around then. so i asked them if they could wait until the dive team was done using the boards, since practice was almost done. diving had been pretty patient about it. one of the guys got all in my face about it, and told me he didnt' deserve this treatment, and was being pretty rude. how it was his right as a paying customer to be doing what he was doing and so on and so forth. after a few exchanges, he asked if i could let them dive for a couple minutes after we were supposed to close down the dive well, and i said sure.
i felt like i was pretty calm during the whole thing. the dive coach talked to me afterward, and while the divers appreceiated it, the dive coach explained that rec swimmers were allowed to use the dive boards at the same time as atlanta divers. i think though, that recreational swimmers didn't have to be douches.
the next day, the guy sends out an e-mail to my boss.
I was at the diving Well earlier today and was yelled at by one of the head life guards at the pool. I feel that this was in error, since the lifegaurd claimed that I was being disruptive to the diving practice going on at the 1 meter boards.
and closes off with
the lifegaurd was rude and stubborn about us using the lower boards. I am not sure what can be done about this, but I love coming to the pool and plan to do so all throughout the Summer.
i had another shift that day (yesterday). the lifeguards were in a fit. the gang of jerks returned, and started canonballing right in front of the coaches. now, really? is that necessary? i felt like this is the kind of thing they were doing yesterday, and i'd already gotten crap for it. so, while i hated to watch this, kept my mouth shut. they then later went to the leisure pool and caused havoc there. no one was pleased.
so, i'm glad i'm done working for this week. now off i go for frisbee.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
today has been the weirdest day.
it's not like it started that badly. morning, 5 am to 9 am, lifeguarded. quiet morning. 9 am to 10 am, worked out. took a shower, went to lunch at 11. took a nap from noon to 1. went to class, ready for a 2210 review. more or less.
i was fooling around on the computers. i don't know what made me look, i had my earphones on and i sure didn't hear anything. but the next thing i knew, i saw a fellow on the ground, blood all over the floor.
seizing.
it took a moment for it to hit. and at first, there was indecision. there were two guys already on the scene, but no one had moved. so i ran up to the first floor where i could get signal, and called gatech police. after i realized somebody had already done that, i ran back down to see if there was anything else i could do. i looked for the first aid kit, an AED, and i sorely wished i had my pocket mask. nobody knew where any of those were and it was chaos as we ran around, looking. i felt so helpless and weak. if it was the pool, i'd had known where to go. after what seemed like an eternity, people found gloves. without thinking, i gloved up, and i took the place of the guy holding the fallen's head, holding a paper towel to stop the bleeding. it was the only thing they had until three people rushed three different first aid kits.
after that, we had gauze, and he eventually (slowly but surely) regained consciousness. he was confused for awhile, and we had to talk him into lying there. it was forever until EMS arrived. and all i could do was make sure he was breathing and conscious. i wanted to keep actually have him sit up so blood wasn't pooling, but after talking to everyone else, we had him still laying there, on his side. was the best idea, in case he started seizing again, which was possible. EMS eventually took over, and i was relieved. i went back to class.
there were a few things i learned from the event.
it's storming now. thunder, lightining, weird weather. it'd be beautiful if it wasn't for what happened today. it just seems like a reflection of my mood, and just horribly, and darkly fits with today.
it's not like it started that badly. morning, 5 am to 9 am, lifeguarded. quiet morning. 9 am to 10 am, worked out. took a shower, went to lunch at 11. took a nap from noon to 1. went to class, ready for a 2210 review. more or less.
i was fooling around on the computers. i don't know what made me look, i had my earphones on and i sure didn't hear anything. but the next thing i knew, i saw a fellow on the ground, blood all over the floor.
seizing.
it took a moment for it to hit. and at first, there was indecision. there were two guys already on the scene, but no one had moved. so i ran up to the first floor where i could get signal, and called gatech police. after i realized somebody had already done that, i ran back down to see if there was anything else i could do. i looked for the first aid kit, an AED, and i sorely wished i had my pocket mask. nobody knew where any of those were and it was chaos as we ran around, looking. i felt so helpless and weak. if it was the pool, i'd had known where to go. after what seemed like an eternity, people found gloves. without thinking, i gloved up, and i took the place of the guy holding the fallen's head, holding a paper towel to stop the bleeding. it was the only thing they had until three people rushed three different first aid kits.
after that, we had gauze, and he eventually (slowly but surely) regained consciousness. he was confused for awhile, and we had to talk him into lying there. it was forever until EMS arrived. and all i could do was make sure he was breathing and conscious. i wanted to keep actually have him sit up so blood wasn't pooling, but after talking to everyone else, we had him still laying there, on his side. was the best idea, in case he started seizing again, which was possible. EMS eventually took over, and i was relieved. i went back to class.
there were a few things i learned from the event.
- i could react if duty called. even while i was a trained lifeguard, i had never experienced that before, and i never really knew how i would react. i didn't freeze up though, and i acted. you never really know i guess, until it actually happens. it was like -- looking back -- remembering my dad rushing to any sort of accident that he passed. he was always there to help, not really aware of the situation around him (whether it be a ghetto somewhere, or by the side of the road). and i began to accept my likeness to him, despite the fact we're not related by blood. i guess i am his son.
- it brought back my faith in my job as a lifeguard. to be vigilant, to now really know that you never know when shit's going to hit the fan. i talked to my boss afterward, and he approved of what i did. i told him how i wished we weren't so dependant on our pocket mask, and if it was smaller and less clunky i would have taken it around in a heartbeat. that next time (or from this day forth) i would have it with me. he gave me a better alternative -- a TINY pocket-sized resuscitation mask. it was nice to talk to him about it, and he approved of what i did. it's also nice to know i'm a little more prepared -- mentally, physically.
- not that i can blame them, and yet. it was frustrating to have people just looking. watching. people continued to walk right by to the computer lab (the accident occurred right in front of the computer lab) so that they could get work done. i could accept people walking away, out of the basement and continuing on their way. but to go into the computer lab and continue to goggle. i was so frustrated. it was shocking, unbelievable that i had initially missed it. imagine if i was unaware of the whole thing. imagine. good grief.
it's storming now. thunder, lightining, weird weather. it'd be beautiful if it wasn't for what happened today. it just seems like a reflection of my mood, and just horribly, and darkly fits with today.
Monday, April 20, 2009
i got a tattoo
...just kidding.
but if i ever get a tattoo, i want a nyami-nyami on my shoulder blade. i've been thinking about this for awhile now, and since a tattoo should be something that's made a big impact on you (or has some great significance to you, seeing as it's permanent), i think the nyami-nyami is a big part of my life. being from zambia, loving the zambezi river, white water rafting through it... i think it's the only thing that i'd want drawn.
one i've been impressed with is carlos moya's dolphin tattoo around his bicep. i've always thought that was the coolest thing ever. i'm not quite sure if there are any other tattoos that are half as impressive as that... except maybe popeye.
anyway.
i actually attempted drawing this during the weekend -- and it looks decent i guess. the eye that i drew is the only part that bugs me, and it seems... too simple. i almost want to make it look fancier -- but then again, i don't think i'll ever get one. i'd need to lose some pounds if i was, anyway...
oh, the vanity. :P
but if i ever get a tattoo, i want a nyami-nyami on my shoulder blade. i've been thinking about this for awhile now, and since a tattoo should be something that's made a big impact on you (or has some great significance to you, seeing as it's permanent), i think the nyami-nyami is a big part of my life. being from zambia, loving the zambezi river, white water rafting through it... i think it's the only thing that i'd want drawn.
one i've been impressed with is carlos moya's dolphin tattoo around his bicep. i've always thought that was the coolest thing ever. i'm not quite sure if there are any other tattoos that are half as impressive as that... except maybe popeye.
anyway.
i actually attempted drawing this during the weekend -- and it looks decent i guess. the eye that i drew is the only part that bugs me, and it seems... too simple. i almost want to make it look fancier -- but then again, i don't think i'll ever get one. i'd need to lose some pounds if i was, anyway...
oh, the vanity. :P
Saturday, April 18, 2009
tournament
i just got back from playing at the tennis club's doubles tournament. we lost in the 2nd round, but it was a good match. i wish we played best two out of three sets, but the first three rounds were 8 game pro-set, so it was brief and we really didn't have an opportunity to come back. the first round match was decent, wes and i got a little flustered playing against a pair that kept moon-balling, meaning it took a lot of discipline to win points. if you were watching it, you would've been pretty bored. we figured how to beat them after awhile -- played consistently, and conservatively. our serves were on to, so that made the match a lot easier. i was a little flustered because my volleys were terrible... i had no pace to work with.
2nd round match was one i was happy to lose with. the guys we were playing were a mexican pair that played in the itf (international tennis federation) juniors. one guy had some great volleying skills. i think that really was the difference in why we lost. neither wes nor i were doubles players to begin with and essentially had this week to fix that. we did... but i really think that made the difference. i watched them play until the semis where they lost. it was a great match too -- i think they'd deserve to win, but they were pretty tired i think from the previous matches. i'm looking forward to playing against them again.
it was a great motivator to play tennis again :)
2nd round match was one i was happy to lose with. the guys we were playing were a mexican pair that played in the itf (international tennis federation) juniors. one guy had some great volleying skills. i think that really was the difference in why we lost. neither wes nor i were doubles players to begin with and essentially had this week to fix that. we did... but i really think that made the difference. i watched them play until the semis where they lost. it was a great match too -- i think they'd deserve to win, but they were pretty tired i think from the previous matches. i'm looking forward to playing against them again.
it was a great motivator to play tennis again :)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
what a day!
the second half of today was awesome. despite having to wait about an hour and a half to use the tennis courts, i think i had the best hour's worth of practice ever. i was hitting very cleanly, and my volleys (for a change) were top-notch. backhand could do some work, but hey. that's what tomorrow is all about. i got to discuss with wes some tactics about doubles. i'm really excited about saturday's tournament. i'm looking forward to practicing some more tomorrow at piedmont park. it's going to be intense.
i also got to listen to hibisca's chamber ensemble pieces today, and they were pretty awesome. the brahms' sonata in a major was very rich (i love brahms) and the poulenc sonata for piano four hands was just incredible. i then got to listen to ted and juli play with two others in a cello quartet prokofiev's humoristisches scherzo, apocalyptica's faraway, and bach's air on the g string. i managed to make it to the chamber ensemble for bill moore hauling butt. i think i managed to get to the couch building in ~15 mins... which i don't think i ever do (seeing as i walk EXTREMELY slowly). i beat the blue route there. of course, i had a head start. but anyway. shh. listening to the chamber ensemble made for a really enjoyable end to the day.
...not that the first half was bad either... no wait, yeah, it was a little bad. i woke up at 4:15 am, greeted john who had just gotten back from his management group project. he was fairly impressed i woke up this early. truthfully, so was i.
so i guarded the pool for four hours, and then did some maintenance, left at 10 am. i was with ross for the four hours of lifeguarding, so, seeing as how chatty ross is, it made those hours fly by real quick. it was a good way to spend the morning. i hope i see some more of him over the summer for frisbee.
after work, i worked out for half an hour. i've started doing assisted chin-ups (seeing as i can't do full chin-ups yet). i can now pull up 145 lbs out of the 200 that i weigh. i'm bummed i still weigh this much, i feel like i've been doing better in terms of eating and working out. i'm hoping eventually, it'll get there when i'm not really looking so hard at the scale. and i'm hoping the scale at the crc was broken by some unusually fat man. even the analog ones.
after i took a shower, i got some lunch with hibisca, and later, ryan and joe. after having a debate about whether jesus was ripped or not -- by the way, lunch tasted AWESOME -- i hung out at woodies briefly before going to 2210. the quiz was a nightmare. the TA completely threw me off when he corrected something on the quiz (i interpreted it one way, and his correction made the problem considerably more complicated, and thus, messed me up). i couldn't finish the problem at all, and i was really flustered. i felt like i understood how to tackle the problem, so i felt cheated of a good grade on my quiz.
and then... after the waiting for an hour and a half to use the courts -- the day got better. so i'm feeling pretty good right now as i prepare to study for my last inorganic test.
it might also help that my colon feels so clear, i feel like i could breathe through my butt. yeah. i just said that. what now.
it's great to be me right now -- and i mean that in the least egotistical way possible. i think?
:)
i also got to listen to hibisca's chamber ensemble pieces today, and they were pretty awesome. the brahms' sonata in a major was very rich (i love brahms) and the poulenc sonata for piano four hands was just incredible. i then got to listen to ted and juli play with two others in a cello quartet prokofiev's humoristisches scherzo, apocalyptica's faraway, and bach's air on the g string. i managed to make it to the chamber ensemble for bill moore hauling butt. i think i managed to get to the couch building in ~15 mins... which i don't think i ever do (seeing as i walk EXTREMELY slowly). i beat the blue route there. of course, i had a head start. but anyway. shh. listening to the chamber ensemble made for a really enjoyable end to the day.
...not that the first half was bad either... no wait, yeah, it was a little bad. i woke up at 4:15 am, greeted john who had just gotten back from his management group project. he was fairly impressed i woke up this early. truthfully, so was i.
so i guarded the pool for four hours, and then did some maintenance, left at 10 am. i was with ross for the four hours of lifeguarding, so, seeing as how chatty ross is, it made those hours fly by real quick. it was a good way to spend the morning. i hope i see some more of him over the summer for frisbee.
after work, i worked out for half an hour. i've started doing assisted chin-ups (seeing as i can't do full chin-ups yet). i can now pull up 145 lbs out of the 200 that i weigh. i'm bummed i still weigh this much, i feel like i've been doing better in terms of eating and working out. i'm hoping eventually, it'll get there when i'm not really looking so hard at the scale. and i'm hoping the scale at the crc was broken by some unusually fat man. even the analog ones.
after i took a shower, i got some lunch with hibisca, and later, ryan and joe. after having a debate about whether jesus was ripped or not -- by the way, lunch tasted AWESOME -- i hung out at woodies briefly before going to 2210. the quiz was a nightmare. the TA completely threw me off when he corrected something on the quiz (i interpreted it one way, and his correction made the problem considerably more complicated, and thus, messed me up). i couldn't finish the problem at all, and i was really flustered. i felt like i understood how to tackle the problem, so i felt cheated of a good grade on my quiz.
and then... after the waiting for an hour and a half to use the courts -- the day got better. so i'm feeling pretty good right now as i prepare to study for my last inorganic test.
it might also help that my colon feels so clear, i feel like i could breathe through my butt. yeah. i just said that. what now.
it's great to be me right now -- and i mean that in the least egotistical way possible. i think?
:)
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
oh, boy, this semester does need to end.
i'm starting to lose concentration and focus. i want dead week to start. for a change, i don't have too many assignments due. no tests. whew.
i've been playing quite a bit of tennis this past week or two. there's a tournament (doubles) at bill moore on saturday, so my doubles partner wes and i've been trying to get as much tennis in as possible. i don't feel as rusty as i originally did. my backhand's about the worst of it. and my volleys... but they're getting more solid now. i don't think i'll be playing frisbee this friday. maybe saturday though. we'll see how i'm feeling.
my schedule for fall isn't looking too fun right now. bmed 3300, 3400, 3500, and orgo 2. tack on research too, possibly. ick. i am looking forward to intramurals though. i know it's still way far ahead, but i really want something like this year's team again -- with a few edits. summer's going to be spent (between classes) working out, frisbee, tennis... and hanging out. oh! and dancing. i know, sounds pretty sissy. but i've definitely begun enjoying swing dancing, and i'd like to check out the ballroom dance club here at tech over the summer. who knows? my favorite step so far was the funky apple jack and the charleston.
anyway. morning shift tomorrow.
i'm starting to lose concentration and focus. i want dead week to start. for a change, i don't have too many assignments due. no tests. whew.
i've been playing quite a bit of tennis this past week or two. there's a tournament (doubles) at bill moore on saturday, so my doubles partner wes and i've been trying to get as much tennis in as possible. i don't feel as rusty as i originally did. my backhand's about the worst of it. and my volleys... but they're getting more solid now. i don't think i'll be playing frisbee this friday. maybe saturday though. we'll see how i'm feeling.
my schedule for fall isn't looking too fun right now. bmed 3300, 3400, 3500, and orgo 2. tack on research too, possibly. ick. i am looking forward to intramurals though. i know it's still way far ahead, but i really want something like this year's team again -- with a few edits. summer's going to be spent (between classes) working out, frisbee, tennis... and hanging out. oh! and dancing. i know, sounds pretty sissy. but i've definitely begun enjoying swing dancing, and i'd like to check out the ballroom dance club here at tech over the summer. who knows? my favorite step so far was the funky apple jack and the charleston.
anyway. morning shift tomorrow.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
this is so cliché
jeez. it really is 4 am, and i need to get to bed. i've been studying for stat this entire time. where did the time go? i looked at some dumb problems i knew how to solve for an hour a chapter. it should have taken fifteen minutes per chapter. i should have been asleep 3 hours ago. at least. i'm starting to turn everything into one of those bloody problems. we've really got problems now. get it? GET IT?
i am not a big fan of statistics. blame it on my lack of statistical education, blame it on the fact i was working at the cdc epidemiology department data-cleaning for two and a half months (give or take other activities), and the fact that when i think of "statistics" i still only think about mean, median, mode, range, and recently, the normal distribution/ the bell curve.
i don't like the fact that natural trends can be determined somehow makes sense, but it's been a little disturbing how we all fit into a box. not really a box i suppose. a hill. a tonsil. a bell. i don't want to be below the curve, but i want to be standing on top of it. i want to be that outlier on the q-test that is just within reach that they can't reject me for poor data, and yet, there i am, screwing it up.
i want to make a dinosaur out of a curve. maybe some made up country, and a route to a treasure.
also, to be the butt-end of that really bad pick-up line., that, let's face it, after taking calc, we all can't help but smile a little bit.
ha.
ha.
....ha.
[edit]
musically, some cool pieces have come up recently:
karen gave me some norwegian recycling. i liked the red hot chili peppers/ eagle eye cherry combo.
i'm getting a little more hooked on japanese rock. especially those that come up in anime. oh. dear.
i started listening to some of those old songs by eminem. despite the negativity, the swear words (which i guess counts towards the negativity), and the vile sense of humor (again, negativity?) -- i still like listening to it. it's nice to hear him ranting rather than me i suppose.
"shine on," needtobreathe. "comatose" skillet (though i've already listened to this a ton of times).
old school songs.
i need to get back into volta. and the peppers.
and sleep.
i am not a big fan of statistics. blame it on my lack of statistical education, blame it on the fact i was working at the cdc epidemiology department data-cleaning for two and a half months (give or take other activities), and the fact that when i think of "statistics" i still only think about mean, median, mode, range, and recently, the normal distribution/ the bell curve.
i don't like the fact that natural trends can be determined somehow makes sense, but it's been a little disturbing how we all fit into a box. not really a box i suppose. a hill. a tonsil. a bell. i don't want to be below the curve, but i want to be standing on top of it. i want to be that outlier on the q-test that is just within reach that they can't reject me for poor data, and yet, there i am, screwing it up.
i want to make a dinosaur out of a curve. maybe some made up country, and a route to a treasure.
also, to be the butt-end of that really bad pick-up line., that, let's face it, after taking calc, we all can't help but smile a little bit.
ha.
ha.
....ha.
[edit]
musically, some cool pieces have come up recently:
karen gave me some norwegian recycling. i liked the red hot chili peppers/ eagle eye cherry combo.
i'm getting a little more hooked on japanese rock. especially those that come up in anime. oh. dear.
i started listening to some of those old songs by eminem. despite the negativity, the swear words (which i guess counts towards the negativity), and the vile sense of humor (again, negativity?) -- i still like listening to it. it's nice to hear him ranting rather than me i suppose.
"shine on," needtobreathe. "comatose" skillet (though i've already listened to this a ton of times).
old school songs.
i need to get back into volta. and the peppers.
and sleep.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
calm before the storm
this week has been fairly quiet. although i skipped my first class of the semester, 2210. i'm pretty disappointed. i've been trying to study a lot, seeing as i have three tests next week which are going to be... interesting. i got a 62 on that 4th physiology test (average was a 59). which is good. but at the same time i'm disappointed because i don't think i'm going to get an A... turns out la placa is going to give A's to the top 10 percent, and i don't think i'm high enough. it's pretty disappointing after all that effort i've put in this class (you should check out my physiology notes sometime).
i started flipping through last semester's photos...
i love frisbee. i hate how i don't play enough. not enough frisbee. not enough tennis. i need to fix it.
and how this picture makes me happy, every single time i look at it.
we need to get stedman to play again next year. people need to help me convince him to play. i feel like we all started playing frisbee together. and we should at least try and end it together.
also, i'm looking at making discs again. i have some ideas on it, e-mail pending to all involved.
i started flipping through last semester's photos...
i love frisbee. i hate how i don't play enough. not enough frisbee. not enough tennis. i need to fix it.
and how this picture makes me happy, every single time i look at it.
we need to get stedman to play again next year. people need to help me convince him to play. i feel like we all started playing frisbee together. and we should at least try and end it together.
also, i'm looking at making discs again. i have some ideas on it, e-mail pending to all involved.
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