as school progresses, clenching its green fingers around us in a fist, i've realized while i haven't felt too worried or stressed, i was certainly feeling the effects of self-centeredness. it made me a little ashamed and sad.

but, this week, somehow has been a time for rediscovering friends. little glimpses of quality time well spent with people i love.

i really need to catch up with people pronto.

i suggest some asian, or taco mac, or something else good.

btw, one of my best friends from zambia is getting lunch with me on sunday. does anybody want to join me? and have a good place to suggest (and if it's a little off campus, a car that can be provided?).

while the next couple weeks will be busy, i trust good things will happen.

hakuna matata

i was talking to the stingerette lady, the really cool one (amy) about yes man...

now that i've really enjoyed running in the mornings, i would love to have a camera. and run around a little after sun-up, and take random pictures.

i think though, it may have to wait until i've learned how to run 6+ miles.
i'm pretty sure i could run a pi now if i wanted to, alone.

i yell at the crashing waves of trial, as we did in destin

blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive...

this semester (in its four weeks) have been the trial of my life.

the question in any interview, "describe when you had to work in a team setting that was not favorable" is now booked. along with "describe when you had a serious conflict." also, "describe any tough situations you've had."

my response to all would be, "thank god for great friends."

i am useless without them. all of them.

hakuna matata is a phrase that needs to return.
now that i've learned to organize my time (decently)... i think it's time to be no worries. i shouldn't let 3110 faze me. and after all that, i enjoy all my other classes. and you know what? i like my groupmates for 3110 for the most part.

i ask "why me?" when there are other people that could be suffering instead of me.

my mindset should be "thank god."
because i'm blessed with this opportunity once again.

everything will all work out.

hakuna matata

a little obscene

note:

NEVER, EVER go out jogging before taking your morning dump. no matter what. it can potentially take you to uncomfortable places, and all in all, who wants to have that seed of doubt (or poop) within while you're running?

so yeah. morning poop.

it's a way of life.

just do it.

if they didn't sing, some piss poor music would actually sound great.

¿qué es la revolución?

the longer i'm on facebook, the more i realize how much i loathe it. it started off as such a great concept. college kids only. get together with your old mates. use your college e-mail address to prove it.

to high school kids, it was initiation for what was at hand. it was a mark of new.

...ok, over-dramatization. there are plenty of bad things with this early model. exclusion is extremely elitist and bad. bad bad bad. its temptation is in the people that are NOT there. so, go from college kids to high school, middle school, and really old people, and you have the people that want to be older, and the people that want to be young again and belong to a generation past. i realize this is all very negative, and i think there are a lot of things i'm not communicating here.

once upon a time, facebook was cute and cool. and we all know cool goes down the drain immediately if everyone else gets "in" on it. because the new cool is exclusion. what everyone else is not doing. which makes it really difficult for producers in the economy. because now, xkcd strangely became a sell-out, top chart hits are (well, i guess have been) completely meaningless, and all in all, nothing (did it ever, i suppose) make sense anymore.

anyway, now, the entire world is on facebook.

i wonder if zuckerberg and the world realize that the entire focus of facebook is now gone. history of hit-websites, lesson 1: page stability is built off of consistent, not universal, groups logging onto the site. else, server gets trashed, and everything goes kablooie. lesson 2: putting EVERYTHING POSSIBLE does not help. limitation can be key. see myspace. see why it went kablooie?

we now have a negative feedback loop. i feel like while zuckerberg saw the possibilities of all this, he doesn't realize that he's hit a glass ceiling. "crap. i see the possibilities, but... i just can't get through!" maybe it's me, but are more people making anti-something groups now than they were in the past? yes, we see a lot of rallying, people grouping together... but for what? what are the results? the outcomes? 1,000,000 members for this and this.

how much more useless crap is out there? honestly?

so.

lesson learned.

i wanted to get on facebook because that was where a lot of my old high school buds going to college (or are in college, or graduated in college) were. they would get on facebook and it was a good place to find them. unfortunately, the plan did not succeed in that i do not keep in touch with many of these folks as i anticipated. it's so easy to keep in touch with everybody... but at the same time, the quality is garbage.

it has made me want to return back to e-mails, and letters (snail mail) -- the rate at which this takes place is extremely slow, but encouraging enough with facebook as the taser and receiving emails and letters as the treadmill. while running would not be the most comfortable thing to do, it does get my fat off. and getting tazed is not a comfortable process. therefore, i've realized there are a handful of people i want to remain in contact, and everyone else who i spent minutes amount of energy that i'm not really sure i would if it wasn't for facebook holding on to their information for me.

theory: the amount of energy i put into a letter or an e-mail will give not only tell me, but also make the other person realize, how much they mean to me. on facebook, not so much.

facebook technology has destroyed the quality of relationships that it was supposed to support and build.

so. making a list of who i want to stay in touch with from here on out.
facebook will eventually disappear. letters and e-mails.

so this semester's results when i first looked at my report card:

BMED 3300 (biotransport) - A
BMED 3400 (biomechanics) - B
BMED 3510 (biosystems and modeling) - B
CHEM 2312 (organic chemistry II) - B

so... what's wrong with this?

getting an A in biotransport... how did this happen?

so i e-mailed kemp:

"Dear Dr. Kemp:

When I was looking at my final grades for this class, I was extremely shocked to find that I had received an A in the class. While I'm very happy that I did so, I felt very undeserving, and was wondering how I got this grade."

she later responds:

"You are absolutely right. You earned a solid B in the class. When cross-checking the grades I put into the system, I noticed that I had entered your grade incorrectly and had remedied it at the time, but the changes were not saved by the database. In fairness to the other students, I will be manually changing your grade through the academic office.

I appreciate your honesty in this matter. Your morals will serve you well in life."

it's funny. i was just talking to someone about how all i wanted was a B in transport. that i deserved a C and that i would be ecstatic with a B. and if i got an A, that i would tell kemp that there was clearly a mistake. who would've thought that would actually happen?

part me was debating on whether to say anything or not.
but part of me felt i would not be able to walk on with the thought that i received a grade i didn't deserve.
particularly if it was in my favor. at least failure is closer to the truth.

i wonder though, where all this will take me in life.