Oren Lavie, "Her Morning Elegance"... among others

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case

Soon she’s down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And she fights for her life
as she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
as it pours
And she fights for her life
as she goes in a store
with a thought she has caught
by a thread
she pays for the bread
and she goes…
Nobody knows

...

Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

it's really catchy and i found it really poetic. sad though, but pretty.

speaking of poetry, real quick.

talking to hibisca going to bed (btw, should be in bed, but having trouble sleeping):

so i was talking to her about her family group, and they were on genesis 1. they were talking about how God was very organized in the way He created the world. i'm looking through the Bible right now just to make sure i get this right.

day 1. God creates light and dark, day and night.
day 2. God creates the sky and the water, heaven and below.
day 3. God creates land, and puts grass, fruits and all that jazz. rabbit food.
day 4. God creates the sun, the moon, the stars. (theme of day 1)
day 5. God creates the fishes and the birds. (theme of day 2)
day 6. God creates the land-lubbers. (theme of day 3)
day 7. God rests.

so the thing hibisca pointed out was that God was very organized in the way he did things. i found it poetic. something about it makes it very artsy and the way it was written (either that or the way hibisca described it) reminded me of a poem for some reason. recurring themes, maybe? i don't know. it reminded me of verses in a song, something to that effect.

additionally, when i read about day 7, it reminds me of patch adams:

"maybe you should have had just a few more brainstorming sessions prior to creation. you rested on the seventh day. maybe you should've spent that day on compassion."

i don't mean any cynicism, it always just pops out at me.

anyway, maybe i'll go to bed now.

g'night.

nerd-tastic

lawls.
i love stumbleupon.

i leave you with this.

good night.

does this look infected?

weekends are a time of relaxation, of getting out of class and (aside from the homework that needs to be done at hte last minute, which will happen on sunday) relaxing.

so we'll start off day by day...

friday. got out of class. got some lunch. mandarin palace, actually. all you can eat buffet for 8 dollars. that was amazing. and then later, went to play frisbee... where i killed my ankle. it was a lot of fun playing. it's been forever since the weather's been this warm, and it was fun to run around and throw a disc. i still need to practice my flick.... and also, i should definitely not run into joe at full speed. should probably look where i'm going too. so i rolled my ankle, it made a funny crinkling, cracking noise... kind of like cracking my knuckles... except this was a lot more continuous, and... definitely more painful. i was certainly frightened when it first happened. later on, i was dumb enough to keep standing on it. yeah, that was dumb. after some help from alex (who got a pack of ice and lent me an ankle brace) and graydon (who drove me back to north ave), i was back home with an ice pack. NOTE: i am too stubborn when it comes to my well-being. i am too stubborn. period

saturday. swelling went down considerably. could actually put some weight on my right foot... but used crutches because i was still hobbling and couldn't put all my weight on it. chris called me an idiot (in oh so many words) as we went to jimmy john's for a sandwich. realized how inconvenient it was to attempt to play drums on rock band with my non-dominant foot. but still fun all the same. we also attempted to go to the high museum which was a flop after the ridiculous line. i also hated being on crutches, although being let in on the bus was awfully nice (someone actually shouted that they should let me in first). so i got on, put my crutches next to me so i could save a seat. this worked until one person said something along the lines of "i don't care about your crutches" and sat next to me. i think what bothers me about the incident was the lack on my part to do anything about it. i was certainly a pushover and wished i really said something. i felt very... submissive? overly polite. and then i guess what also bothered me later on was i should've given my seat away instead of remaining seated -- my ankle really wasn't that bad, i don't think, despite the use of crutches.
later that night, we switched gears to mah jongg and mafia. women are evil in that game. i've learned that from both stephanie and hibisca.

watched devil's advocate... great movie.

sunday: could actually put all my weight on the right foot. off the crutches. didn't really do too much i guess, aside from 2210 study for quiz...

hopefully my ankle will be better soon. i'm really eager to start playing tennis again. and frisbee. hopefully can by thursday and friday.

5 am

man, laundry is great. especially when that means you've got fresh, clean underwear for the next couple weeks...

...and jeez, do i need to take a nap.

i want to thank you for the forget-me-not's and marigolds

people should never, ever, be alone in life. ever.

it seems like there's something in the air. as it gets colder and colder here, it seems like people are beginning to get warmer. all the more reason to get close, maybe, with this weather -- i don't think that's really their intention, but it seems to keep happening. i see more smiles now. that... and excessive eating. it's cold, we're generating lots and lots of heat. there goes the energy. meaning we need more food.

one word: nerd.

interesting. it all seems like a trend. and the funny thing is, no one really knows that it's going on. or do they?

it flurried today.

so far i've found this weekend to be incredible. despite the fact that i've gotten less work done than i wish i actually did (well, in my defense, i've done a fair amount of work today in spite of that... i think), it's been one of those weekends where i've realized it's such a shame that there never will be enough time. i've realized how wonderful my friends are. i'm surrounded by incredible people, and it's a shame that there's only so much time. i'm glad i am where i am right now, and i regret that i can't be with all of them for as long as i wish. but it is nice that some things were put on pause, and they could be picked up again. and things aren't completely the same, but the change and the difference is a wonderful surprise. it's like going back to that favorite restaurant back at home after being away for so long. ordering that one dish that you loved, and realizing it still has that same great taste, and maybe with some little differences. maybe it's a different chef. maybe it's some new ingredients. but there's it is, that something that brings you back to home. we are who we are. people shape us, we let them shape us, but there'll always be that quirk that remains.

• late nights at caldwell. everybody piling in eddie's room for a sleep over, even though he's got stuff to do the next day. talking in the lounge and just chilling. listening to music looped over and over again. all-nighters with other people to keep you awake.
• learning ultimate frisbee. learning how to flick. finding some of the coolest people ever to play pick up with, and the coolest people to actually play on a team with.
• hugging people. men and women. stop being homophobes. and enjoy bao baos.
  
• writing letters.
• laughing.
  
• mah jongg forever on end.
• haggling forever so i can get stuff for you. and haggle.
  
• random moments sitting on the swing. talking. watching the invisible stars. seeing the moon. saying one of these days we'll stay up and watch the sunrise from caldwell. which, by at that time, will no longer really be a sunrise.
  
• waltzing wherever we please. so i put my arms around you/ around you/ and i hope that i can do no wrong...
  
• skipping classes... and feeling guilty... and then realizing how much time was well spent being with the people you wanted to be with.
• finally getting see wicked. with you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. i think that's everybody accounted for. and you?
  
• listening to random guitar riffs made up, and no matter how much it doesn't make sense, still loving the fact that you can devote yourself that much to the love for music. listening to talent.
• getting yelled at for ordering take away/ eating at varsity/ mcdonald's/ papa john's/ ordering another double patty melt at woodies and absolutely nothing healthy... thank you for caring. on both sides. thank you for being my partner in crime.
  
• listening to someone who can actually play the piano well. making that wrong note still sound good, and enjoyable to listen to while doing homework. even the hard banging on the keyboard at some retarded point in the music makes for a great study environment. i love it.
  
• reading dates. and then falling asleep because schoolwork + lack of sleep is not a good idea.
• talking to you, realizing that not even the pacific nor the atlantic can separate us.
• talking to YOU. listening to YOU.
  
• doing brainless stuff -- smash bros., realizing i'm killing my brain cells just by watching halo...
  
• playing tennis. losing and winning. playing right after school and playing until it's dark. eating nshima during lunch time during tournaments. and thinking what a bad idea that was when i realize that it's time for me to play.
  
• movies.
  
• bonfire with friends.
  
• writing. prose. poetry.
• over the summer. talking and hanging out. reminiscing about the past, wondering how on earth we never really hung out. and realizing it doesn't matter if that didn't happen then -- it's happening NOW. enjoying your company.
• calling a lot of people short. and hoping they'd realize that i'm short too. and in some screwed up way, it's just another annoying equivalent of a hug to say i love them.
  

i love you all.
no homo.

(maybe.)

the devil went down to georgia, and it all froze over

dear shawty: why did you have to bring us the freakin cold down here, hmm!? just because we don't have you, and you're all the way up there doesn't mean that you have to share the freakin weather with us. honestly. 13 fahrenheit (-10 celsius for us normal people) is not necessary. seriously. and make sure you don't get lost in that ten feet of snow up there. and if you do have to go out there, don't leave without a pile of rocks. bread crumbs won't do the trick. fyi. also, you're closer to the ground, you have less surface area to worry about. us tall people... that's another story.

(i wonder how long it's going to take for you to notice?)

so yeah. it's cold.

another week's gone by. it's been interesting. statistics and conservation (2210) is going to need some getting used to. two of the most absurd classes on tuesdays/ thursdays. lovely. one class expects us to basically work more hours than any other class and all that jazz, and stat i just need to get used to. it's not that bad. just suck it up, and work with it. systems physiology is by far my favorite class. inorganic... zzz... well. i got my first ace on a quiz. and also my worst quiz possible in that class. in the same week. go figure. got a quiz (test) in sys phys next week. should be fun... and i should probably get on that 2210 homework asap... yeah...

looks like i'm going to be able to get some regular workout in:

monday: tennis
tuesday: lifeguard inservice (every other week), workout with biscuit
wednesday: stairs/ freshman hill run, racquetball (?), lifeguard workout
thursday: workout with biscuit/ tennis
friday: lifeguard workout, ULTIMATE
saturday:
sunday: tennis practice

my goal is to get some more swimming in there, and maybe start using the row machine. i talked to the bwana about that, so i'll figure out when to do that.

...hopefully i can keep this up with schoolwork in place... i've been doing a fairly good job in terms of keeping up with everything... i'm not behind yet. that's for sure.

another highlight of this week: swing dancing. i went to see one of my best friends, didn't end up seeing her. but i did manage to learn some steps (relearn maybe? i faintly remember doing something like that before prom once upon a time...). and i'm convinced i want to do an options class. frick. i need to uhm... delete something on that workout thing. there is no way i'm going to keep all this up. maybe? it'd be nice. i guess i'm not going to have too much of a life during the day.... which isn't too bad. all that schoolwork done before getting home.

oh, it's so wonderful to see daylight. and schoolwork has a whole new meaning of opportunities.
wow. do i sound nerdy.

more organized thoughts pending.

much love.

a new start, week 1

it's kind of sad that i've only written one post and i'm already tempted to write "it's been awhile." but hey, it's been awhile. things have been going fairly well. week 1 of school just came to a close as of today, and since i'm not planning on dropping any classes this semester, today was the last opportunity to do so without having it go on record as a W. well, it's certainly going to be an interesting semester: systems physiology (w/ la placa), statistics (w/ lu), conservation principles in bme (w/ le doux) inorganic chemistry (w/ zhang), and inorganic lab. sys phys has been a nice addition, i was dreading it at first, but after a couple classes, i'm definitely enjoying it. it helps to read the textbook before going to class and listening to the lecture. the material from the textbook has been great to read too. i'm actually enjoying reading that textbook. yes, i'm a nerd. shh. but it does make me feel like maybe i can get through this degree.

but i'm getting ahead of myself on that one. not only because of the other classes i'm taking, or the fact that it's still the end of the first week... there's stil a long way to go before i can even start thinking like that.

lu and zhang are challenges. i can't get through their accents, and it's going to be a long hard semester to be able to learn the material. but they've got decent gpa's, and there's gotta be good reasons for that. i'm sure it'll work out if i read ahead like i do in sys phys.

so that's that in terms of classes...

exercise-wise, i am so out of shape. wednesday i finally decided to get off my lazy bum and play racquetball against soles. and lost. it was a good game though. great game. but i realized i am SO OUT OF SHAPE. and then i ran stairs with elyse... and then i realized I AM REALLY REALLY OUT OF SHAPE. AND FAT. i could hear the familiar *blup blup* noise. made me self-conscious. sigh. and then i've been fighting soreness since. ran with hibisca and did some light weight workouts. so i got something happening tuesdays/thursdays and wednesdays at least. i'll get some swimming and tennis in there and it'll be active.

frisbee has been very rusty. but it's great to be out there again. i wouldn't mind getting some turf burns again. and re-learning the flick. it'll take time though. i don't feel like i belong anymore. that's bad.

i hope i can still manage to do this once it gets busy. i hope i can actually stay organized and be responsible.

the week's been great. being able to see the sunlight once again, not being stuck in lab. it stings that i had to quit. i find myself missing the lab, and i hope i can come back over the summer to it again. however, it has taught me to use my time fairly wisely -- to actually do work instead of wasting it all away. so i find myself less stressed and enjoying more hours of sleep. i got a random call from stuart today while i was in sys phys from either england or zambia, i couldn't tell which. but that made me smile too. i miss everyone. i miss the people that decided to be lame and co-op for this semester. one of them's visiting tomorrow and i'm pretty sure at least three of us will be bothering her when she gets done with whatever she's doing. she better not bail. i miss the people that are overseas or across the nation. we live so many lives, even though we're just one person... and it would be so much simpler if all our worlds just decided to come together. how cool would that be?

being able to hang with the roommates has been great too, instead of seeing them for a brief period of time before going to sleep. it's nice to be yelling at john again, and watching stedman play halo 3. there's something brainless and blissfully relaxing about it. and rock band is the new fun around the apartment. i've missed my friends. i hope i won't be so antisocial this semester. we've already got some lunches going during the week.

15 months.

sorry my writing's been going all over the place. but just fyi,

it's been a great week :)

resolutions

so it's the closing of the start of 2009, and i figured i'd start it off with writing my resolutions for this year (and this coming semester).

1. good GPA, reach goal = 4.0, ideal goal 3.5+: i've come to a realization recently that my grades suck (go figure) and they really do need to get better. i do want to become a vet and that does entail having good grades. having to quit research to has also shaken things up. working at a clinic is gonna have similar demands that i found at research. i can't be completely disorganized, and i need to know my stuff. i have to be precise when it comes to making decisions and i need to be confident with the actions i take. and maybe that has to start with the way i've been treating classes. it's time to come terms with reality and take responsibility. and best do it on my terms.
   
2. work out on a regular basis: i need to get fit. no more chubby belly. i want to be able to play frisbee and tennis like i'd used to and the only way to do that is regular exercise. one of the many things i've missed about the freshman years.
3. spend time with friends: again, something i've missed from freshman year. it's harder to spend time with everyone now that we're all away from caldwell. catch up with the people who matter.
4. save money: i hate being poor.
   
5. eat healthy: again. chubby belly needs to go away.
6. play frisbee more: shamuswimsonturf