i want to thank you for the forget-me-not's and marigolds

people should never, ever, be alone in life. ever.

it seems like there's something in the air. as it gets colder and colder here, it seems like people are beginning to get warmer. all the more reason to get close, maybe, with this weather -- i don't think that's really their intention, but it seems to keep happening. i see more smiles now. that... and excessive eating. it's cold, we're generating lots and lots of heat. there goes the energy. meaning we need more food.

one word: nerd.

interesting. it all seems like a trend. and the funny thing is, no one really knows that it's going on. or do they?

it flurried today.

so far i've found this weekend to be incredible. despite the fact that i've gotten less work done than i wish i actually did (well, in my defense, i've done a fair amount of work today in spite of that... i think), it's been one of those weekends where i've realized it's such a shame that there never will be enough time. i've realized how wonderful my friends are. i'm surrounded by incredible people, and it's a shame that there's only so much time. i'm glad i am where i am right now, and i regret that i can't be with all of them for as long as i wish. but it is nice that some things were put on pause, and they could be picked up again. and things aren't completely the same, but the change and the difference is a wonderful surprise. it's like going back to that favorite restaurant back at home after being away for so long. ordering that one dish that you loved, and realizing it still has that same great taste, and maybe with some little differences. maybe it's a different chef. maybe it's some new ingredients. but there's it is, that something that brings you back to home. we are who we are. people shape us, we let them shape us, but there'll always be that quirk that remains.

• late nights at caldwell. everybody piling in eddie's room for a sleep over, even though he's got stuff to do the next day. talking in the lounge and just chilling. listening to music looped over and over again. all-nighters with other people to keep you awake.
• learning ultimate frisbee. learning how to flick. finding some of the coolest people ever to play pick up with, and the coolest people to actually play on a team with.
• hugging people. men and women. stop being homophobes. and enjoy bao baos.
  
• writing letters.
• laughing.
  
• mah jongg forever on end.
• haggling forever so i can get stuff for you. and haggle.
  
• random moments sitting on the swing. talking. watching the invisible stars. seeing the moon. saying one of these days we'll stay up and watch the sunrise from caldwell. which, by at that time, will no longer really be a sunrise.
  
• waltzing wherever we please. so i put my arms around you/ around you/ and i hope that i can do no wrong...
  
• skipping classes... and feeling guilty... and then realizing how much time was well spent being with the people you wanted to be with.
• finally getting see wicked. with you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. i think that's everybody accounted for. and you?
  
• listening to random guitar riffs made up, and no matter how much it doesn't make sense, still loving the fact that you can devote yourself that much to the love for music. listening to talent.
• getting yelled at for ordering take away/ eating at varsity/ mcdonald's/ papa john's/ ordering another double patty melt at woodies and absolutely nothing healthy... thank you for caring. on both sides. thank you for being my partner in crime.
  
• listening to someone who can actually play the piano well. making that wrong note still sound good, and enjoyable to listen to while doing homework. even the hard banging on the keyboard at some retarded point in the music makes for a great study environment. i love it.
  
• reading dates. and then falling asleep because schoolwork + lack of sleep is not a good idea.
• talking to you, realizing that not even the pacific nor the atlantic can separate us.
• talking to YOU. listening to YOU.
  
• doing brainless stuff -- smash bros., realizing i'm killing my brain cells just by watching halo...
  
• playing tennis. losing and winning. playing right after school and playing until it's dark. eating nshima during lunch time during tournaments. and thinking what a bad idea that was when i realize that it's time for me to play.
  
• movies.
  
• bonfire with friends.
  
• writing. prose. poetry.
• over the summer. talking and hanging out. reminiscing about the past, wondering how on earth we never really hung out. and realizing it doesn't matter if that didn't happen then -- it's happening NOW. enjoying your company.
• calling a lot of people short. and hoping they'd realize that i'm short too. and in some screwed up way, it's just another annoying equivalent of a hug to say i love them.
  

i love you all.
no homo.

(maybe.)